Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A short update

So, I'm just updating for the sake of updating.

First, health wise I'm feeling better. I think I had a cold. Now I'm just dealing with those good ole' seasonal allergies. That is taken care of very simply by some benedryl (my bestest friend) at night. Other than the mild reaction to the horror that is spring, I'm okay. I must have been doing sit-ups in my sleep though because my abs are killing me.

Second, I was thinking about what Micah told me. The whole thing about time and death. If you haven't guessed by the name of my journal, I'm a big fan of H.P. Lovecraft. It hit me while I was doing my usual routine of nothing this morning. A great quote that anyone who has even heard of Lovecraft would know:

That is not dead which can eternal lie.
And with strange aeons even death may die.

I don't know why that occurred to me. I've long considered that Lovecraft's use of dreams in his stories might have meant more than just the musings of a creative mind. I don't believe in Cthulhu, but I do believe that the mind can travel and that there are worlds beyond our own that can be attained. It's stupid spiritualist bullshit, but if you'd seen what I've seen you would know the feeling.

Third, the whole "Lemminkaenen" thing is bothering me. I was thinking about the old Finnish mythology that considered the soul as being able to leave the body and that epileptic fits are when the soul goes wandering. What if, while a soul was wandering, another entity could inhabit the body? I couldn't have been shaking when I wrote that note. I also have no recollection of doing it. I've told you that when I first come back from a seizure my body doesn't always feel like my own. What if I take a backseat when my own consciousness was weakened? What if there was something else that could drive me? I don't believe in possession, but I do believe in the subconscious. I don't want to believe I'm being possessed, but I also don't want to believe that my mind is hiding things from me.

Any thoughts?

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