Monday, May 30, 2011

I'm not feeling right

It's bad enough to be packing and moving, but it's worse when you feel like there is someone watching you. That sick fuck is here. I know he is. I keep looking over my shoulder when I leave my building to put stuff in my Mom's car. I think every person who stalls in the parking lot is watching me, is ready to jump on me like I know that fuck will.

Lemminkaenen won't shut up. He keeps telling me to focus and calm down, that there is nothing to fear, that I'm in good hands with him and with my parents. Well fuck him. He doesn't know what he's talking about. He bugs me every night. I can sleep with him talking to me, trying to tell me to keep calm.

The few times I've been able to sleep, I've had vivid nightmares, about interplanetary beasts destroying the earth. The Slender Man is there, and he's using his non-eyes to stare at me. I can't hear it, but I know he's saying Betreten Verboten. Those beings destroy everything around me and leave fire in their wake. They can't touch me, even as they rip everyone else in the area to pieces.

The more I think about it, the more I think I know what it means. The more I know, the more I wish I was ignorant. I wish I didn't know. The pieces are falling together. I used to love puzzles as a child, seeing the picture develop as I put the pieces together. The clearer the picture in this puzzle becomes, the clearer it is to me that I just don't want to know.

Please, make it stop.

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