It's bad enough to be packing and moving, but it's worse when you feel like there is someone watching you. That sick fuck is here. I know he is. I keep looking over my shoulder when I leave my building to put stuff in my Mom's car. I think every person who stalls in the parking lot is watching me, is ready to jump on me like I know that fuck will.
Lemminkaenen won't shut up. He keeps telling me to focus and calm down, that there is nothing to fear, that I'm in good hands with him and with my parents. Well fuck him. He doesn't know what he's talking about. He bugs me every night. I can sleep with him talking to me, trying to tell me to keep calm.
The few times I've been able to sleep, I've had vivid nightmares, about interplanetary beasts destroying the earth. The Slender Man is there, and he's using his non-eyes to stare at me. I can't hear it, but I know he's saying Betreten Verboten. Those beings destroy everything around me and leave fire in their wake. They can't touch me, even as they rip everyone else in the area to pieces.
The more I think about it, the more I think I know what it means. The more I know, the more I wish I was ignorant. I wish I didn't know. The pieces are falling together. I used to love puzzles as a child, seeing the picture develop as I put the pieces together. The clearer the picture in this puzzle becomes, the clearer it is to me that I just don't want to know.
Please, make it stop.
Showing posts with label Slender Man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Slender Man. Show all posts
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Micah and Lemminkaenen
I saw Micah again last night. Again, he spoke in riddles. Luckily I was able to bring Lemminkaenen with me and he seemed able to make some sense of what he had to say. He told me I would return to his world "when it was dark". Unsurprisingly night had finally fallen.
He was sitting on the stoop of the house that he's always at when I see him. Initially, he was wary of the presence of Lemminkaenen, but after a brief explanation of who he was and who I believed him to be, he seemed to relax a bit. I could tell he was guarded with what he told me, a bit more than usual, but Lemminkaenen still listened and tried to make sense of what he told me.
I realized something interesting when I first entered the world with Lemminkaenen, he was shaking too. When he looked at me he seemed very concerned and asked me why I was shaking. Apparently it isn't Micah who shakes, it's me. Lemminkaenen believes that it has something to do with where we were. He believes that instead of just another plain of existence, we were actually on another planet and that I had traveled through some bizarre quantum rift to get there. I'm not sure how true that is, but I can only accept him to be right. I have no evidence to the contrary.
When I finally got Micah talking about something OTHER than Lemminkaenen and his presence he told me that time was short and that there were some things I needed to know about where he was.
"Look at the sky [Anomie],"
I looked up and noticed that there was two moons in the sky. "That's interesting," I replied.
"[Anomie] those moons are rising quickly. The dawn is coming soon. The dawn will bring my new name, and I will forget you. I cannot stop them, and neither can you,"
"I figured as much," I glanced at Lemminkaenen and he seemed to be deep in thought. "Who are the others?" I blurted out to Micah, which seemed to interest Lemminkaenen quite a bit. Micah balked.
"[Anomie] you know I can't answer that,"
"Why not?" Lemminkaenen asked over my shoulder. Micah just stared past him, as much as he accepted Lemminkaenen's presence he refused to acknowledge anything he asked.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because I'm not entirely sure myself. I can tell you that they have existed always, and will exist always."
"Are they gods?"
"No,"
"Then what are they?"
"I don't know [Anomie]! I only know that they control what happens here and that they should not be crossed. That thing that you saw enforces their law. I also know that those pills keep you isolated from their thoughts. Once the dawn comes, all of their acts will be forgotten by all but a few, and even those will forget their function,"
"What about the Slender Man?"
"He is another of their enforcers, I think. He does what they cannot do,"
"What does he do?"
"I have dreams, sometimes [Anomie]. I see him in them. I see him in your world and I feel him touch me," He raised his sleeve and I saw a hideous burn mark "and then I wake up, screaming"
"I understand, I think. Micah, all the legends of the Slender Man say that he takes children. Why isn't he taking children anymore?"
"You know. You are the reason. You should know it better than anyone,"
"I don't understand,"
"Think hard [Anomie]. You'll know soon,"
"I hope,"
"[Anomie] please remember your pills. I'd like to see the dawn. Wake up,"
I didn't wake up, but I was once again launched out out the second world. Instead, I found myself sitting in the corridor between the worlds with Lemminkaenen. He looked thoughtful.
"[Anomie] do you know what he meant?"
"No,"
"I believe that what he told you is that people like you are the reason Slender Man is taking adults. He can't see you. Remember that your epilepsy started when you were thirteen? Those pills keep you from being seen by the Slender man, and I'm sure that whatever "The Others" are, they can't see you either,"
"So they are gods?"
"Perhaps that's the best word for them. I think that's what my era would have called them. I think that's the only word that you have that fits them. The one thing I now know for sure is that the Slender Man does drag people to that side, and he does it for the others,"
"Why?"
"I need to think about it. Let me have a few nights to think it over. I have an idea but I have to work on how to say it,"
"What's this about the dawn?"
"Give me a few days. Don't you have some papers to write?"
And I woke up.
I do have papers to write, and that's why this entry is kinda late. As soon as I hear from Lemminkaenen again you'll know.
He was sitting on the stoop of the house that he's always at when I see him. Initially, he was wary of the presence of Lemminkaenen, but after a brief explanation of who he was and who I believed him to be, he seemed to relax a bit. I could tell he was guarded with what he told me, a bit more than usual, but Lemminkaenen still listened and tried to make sense of what he told me.
I realized something interesting when I first entered the world with Lemminkaenen, he was shaking too. When he looked at me he seemed very concerned and asked me why I was shaking. Apparently it isn't Micah who shakes, it's me. Lemminkaenen believes that it has something to do with where we were. He believes that instead of just another plain of existence, we were actually on another planet and that I had traveled through some bizarre quantum rift to get there. I'm not sure how true that is, but I can only accept him to be right. I have no evidence to the contrary.
When I finally got Micah talking about something OTHER than Lemminkaenen and his presence he told me that time was short and that there were some things I needed to know about where he was.
"Look at the sky [Anomie],"
I looked up and noticed that there was two moons in the sky. "That's interesting," I replied.
"[Anomie] those moons are rising quickly. The dawn is coming soon. The dawn will bring my new name, and I will forget you. I cannot stop them, and neither can you,"
"I figured as much," I glanced at Lemminkaenen and he seemed to be deep in thought. "Who are the others?" I blurted out to Micah, which seemed to interest Lemminkaenen quite a bit. Micah balked.
"[Anomie] you know I can't answer that,"
"Why not?" Lemminkaenen asked over my shoulder. Micah just stared past him, as much as he accepted Lemminkaenen's presence he refused to acknowledge anything he asked.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because I'm not entirely sure myself. I can tell you that they have existed always, and will exist always."
"Are they gods?"
"No,"
"Then what are they?"
"I don't know [Anomie]! I only know that they control what happens here and that they should not be crossed. That thing that you saw enforces their law. I also know that those pills keep you isolated from their thoughts. Once the dawn comes, all of their acts will be forgotten by all but a few, and even those will forget their function,"
"What about the Slender Man?"
"He is another of their enforcers, I think. He does what they cannot do,"
"What does he do?"
"I have dreams, sometimes [Anomie]. I see him in them. I see him in your world and I feel him touch me," He raised his sleeve and I saw a hideous burn mark "and then I wake up, screaming"
"I understand, I think. Micah, all the legends of the Slender Man say that he takes children. Why isn't he taking children anymore?"
"You know. You are the reason. You should know it better than anyone,"
"I don't understand,"
"Think hard [Anomie]. You'll know soon,"
"I hope,"
"[Anomie] please remember your pills. I'd like to see the dawn. Wake up,"
I didn't wake up, but I was once again launched out out the second world. Instead, I found myself sitting in the corridor between the worlds with Lemminkaenen. He looked thoughtful.
"[Anomie] do you know what he meant?"
"No,"
"I believe that what he told you is that people like you are the reason Slender Man is taking adults. He can't see you. Remember that your epilepsy started when you were thirteen? Those pills keep you from being seen by the Slender man, and I'm sure that whatever "The Others" are, they can't see you either,"
"So they are gods?"
"Perhaps that's the best word for them. I think that's what my era would have called them. I think that's the only word that you have that fits them. The one thing I now know for sure is that the Slender Man does drag people to that side, and he does it for the others,"
"Why?"
"I need to think about it. Let me have a few nights to think it over. I have an idea but I have to work on how to say it,"
"What's this about the dawn?"
"Give me a few days. Don't you have some papers to write?"
And I woke up.
I do have papers to write, and that's why this entry is kinda late. As soon as I hear from Lemminkaenen again you'll know.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Things my Companion Says
So, there is not much to tell you about Lemminkaenen. It's rather confusing when I realized that the person I saw in the mirror at the top of the stairs in my initial hallucination of that area was a woman. He suggested that it was my subconscious that was telling me where to go. He thinks that there might be part of me that knows the answers, but cannot tell me and that has become his job. Everything he has told me has been obvious to him and therefore should have been obvious to me, but for some reason I couldn't put it together for myself. I have a block.
I see him only in the corridor between worlds. He can come with me into the third world, but I'm not sure about the second. I will only know when Micah pulls me through. He can't tell me either, because that's something he doesn't know. So far, the things I haven't heard or honestly don't know he has no access to.
I can feel him. I can't hear him clearly in my mind until I'm asleep, but I can make out faint words of encouragement or whispered advice when I'm awake. He tells me that he has good advice because he's been alive for many more years than me, but I'm not so sure. He suggested more cake when he knows that cake will make me fat :P.
He just told me that cake is happiness and he just wants me happy. Jerk.
Anyway, on a more serious note, he made some sense of Micah's words. He suggested that my previous supposition that the second world is a new world waiting to be filled is true. This was through the information that Micah gave me through the statement of "I don't think that was my name before". Lemminkaenen believes that this means Micah once existed in our world and was taken to the second world by the Slender Man. The statement that "He doesn't care about us once we're here" makes that fairly obvious. He also thinks that it is only my disorder and pills that keep me from being seen by the Slender Man.
The things that Lemminkaenen says he is less sure of and needs clarification is who "The Others" are. He can't tell by the little information that he's been given what they are or what their connection to the second world is. He thinks it has something to do with Micah's statement about time and sleep. He's scared though, he doesn't like that we're unsure.
He also fears The Rat. He doesn't know what his motivations are, but he can tell it's no good. He's suggested that I have no contact with him and stop tweeting back. I happen to agree. However, still, fuck off you freak.
Anything you guys want to ask Lemminkaenen?
Also, thanks Cate for the well wishes. I forgot to thank you before.
I see him only in the corridor between worlds. He can come with me into the third world, but I'm not sure about the second. I will only know when Micah pulls me through. He can't tell me either, because that's something he doesn't know. So far, the things I haven't heard or honestly don't know he has no access to.
I can feel him. I can't hear him clearly in my mind until I'm asleep, but I can make out faint words of encouragement or whispered advice when I'm awake. He tells me that he has good advice because he's been alive for many more years than me, but I'm not so sure. He suggested more cake when he knows that cake will make me fat :P.
He just told me that cake is happiness and he just wants me happy. Jerk.
Anyway, on a more serious note, he made some sense of Micah's words. He suggested that my previous supposition that the second world is a new world waiting to be filled is true. This was through the information that Micah gave me through the statement of "I don't think that was my name before". Lemminkaenen believes that this means Micah once existed in our world and was taken to the second world by the Slender Man. The statement that "He doesn't care about us once we're here" makes that fairly obvious. He also thinks that it is only my disorder and pills that keep me from being seen by the Slender Man.
The things that Lemminkaenen says he is less sure of and needs clarification is who "The Others" are. He can't tell by the little information that he's been given what they are or what their connection to the second world is. He thinks it has something to do with Micah's statement about time and sleep. He's scared though, he doesn't like that we're unsure.
He also fears The Rat. He doesn't know what his motivations are, but he can tell it's no good. He's suggested that I have no contact with him and stop tweeting back. I happen to agree. However, still, fuck off you freak.
Anything you guys want to ask Lemminkaenen?
Also, thanks Cate for the well wishes. I forgot to thank you before.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Research and findings
So, a great big thanks to Sam, Trinora and Anon for pointing out that the phrase on the note was Finnish. Also, a great big thanks to Sam for doing the google translate work and the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemminkäinen . I actually checked for myself after having been told it was Finnish, and google translate actually still gives me "Check the folder"(more on that later).
Also, a great big thanks to Trinora for pointing out that the drawn cello actually looks like Slender Man. It's interesting that I somehow got a tall skinny man confused with an instrument. I'm sure a psychologist would have a field day.
It seems that Lemminkäinen was a great hero in Finnish mythology. His story is that died and rose from the dead and historians think he is analogous to the viking deity Balder. I'm actually familiar with Balder's story and he is more prominently featured as the king of the gods after the final battle of Ragnarok. I can't really say who or what would be "Beloved Lemminkäinen". If it's me it might be a bad omen, if it's someone else it's a worse omen.
As for the first part of the message (which I saved for last) I checked every folder I own before it dawned on me that part of the reason I bought that journal was because it has a small pocket in the back that I had meant to put clippings and such in. When I checked it, I found this:
It is a piece of paper(torn from the notebook itself) folded like a envelope. When I unfolded it I found these passages:
Lucky for me I can read this one. I'm not sure why the first message was in Finnish and the second was in German, but then again I do a lot of things that don't make when I'm in a post seizure state.
The first passage is something I saw carved into a table in a German bar. I didn't really pay it much attention when I first saw it and didn't bother taking a picture, as it seemed unimportant. I had completely forgotten about it until now.
It says:
Here are the words:
Come little children
in my burning embrace
we will with one another go
and learn the secrets of the eternal
Which is bizarre, and I have no more idea now what it says than I did then. I'm open to all interpretations because it seems like gibberish.
The second one, however, really interested me. Here is how I've seen it translated:
"He calls it Reason—thence his power's increased,
To be far beastlier than any beast."
"Auch, vergessen nicht" just means "also, don't forget" and is not part of the quote.
It's actually a line from Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe's epic Faust. When Mephistopheles (that's the devil and villain in the story) visits God in heaven he has a conversation with him in which he proclaims that humanity is stupid and he has no idea why they are paid any attention. The "beastlier than any beast" line is actually one of my favorites in the play, with "Prologue in Heaven" being my favorite chapter.
I can't really figure out why I did this. Wires tend to get crossed when I seize and it isn't uncommon for me to say or do things that don't make any sense.
Also, a great big thanks to Trinora for pointing out that the drawn cello actually looks like Slender Man. It's interesting that I somehow got a tall skinny man confused with an instrument. I'm sure a psychologist would have a field day.
It seems that Lemminkäinen was a great hero in Finnish mythology. His story is that died and rose from the dead and historians think he is analogous to the viking deity Balder. I'm actually familiar with Balder's story and he is more prominently featured as the king of the gods after the final battle of Ragnarok. I can't really say who or what would be "Beloved Lemminkäinen". If it's me it might be a bad omen, if it's someone else it's a worse omen.
As for the first part of the message (which I saved for last) I checked every folder I own before it dawned on me that part of the reason I bought that journal was because it has a small pocket in the back that I had meant to put clippings and such in. When I checked it, I found this:
 |
| From the german note |
 |
| From the german note |
It is a piece of paper(torn from the notebook itself) folded like a envelope. When I unfolded it I found these passages:
 |
| From the german note |
 |
| From the german note |
Lucky for me I can read this one. I'm not sure why the first message was in Finnish and the second was in German, but then again I do a lot of things that don't make when I'm in a post seizure state.
The first passage is something I saw carved into a table in a German bar. I didn't really pay it much attention when I first saw it and didn't bother taking a picture, as it seemed unimportant. I had completely forgotten about it until now.
It says:
Here are the words:
Come little children
in my burning embrace
we will with one another go
and learn the secrets of the eternal
Which is bizarre, and I have no more idea now what it says than I did then. I'm open to all interpretations because it seems like gibberish.
The second one, however, really interested me. Here is how I've seen it translated:
"He calls it Reason—thence his power's increased,
To be far beastlier than any beast."
"Auch, vergessen nicht" just means "also, don't forget" and is not part of the quote.
It's actually a line from Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe's epic Faust. When Mephistopheles (that's the devil and villain in the story) visits God in heaven he has a conversation with him in which he proclaims that humanity is stupid and he has no idea why they are paid any attention. The "beastlier than any beast" line is actually one of my favorites in the play, with "Prologue in Heaven" being my favorite chapter.
I can't really figure out why I did this. Wires tend to get crossed when I seize and it isn't uncommon for me to say or do things that don't make any sense.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
A new name for an old friend
I saw him again. It was in the same place as before. He approached me and smiled. "Welcome back [Anomie]. I've been calling for you for quite some time."
"I know, I couldn't find my way back."
"Understandable. Sometimes the door is hard to find in the dark. Walk with me."
He began walking towards the woods behind my parents' house. I noticed that he was shaking hard and having trouble walking straight. I walked up behind him and grasped his hand to make him stop shaking. He smiled at me and began to speak.
"[Anomie] what do you think of the sky?"
It was twilight, as always, so I told him it was beautiful.
"But you didn't even look at it,"
"I know what the sky looks like,"
"Just look,"
I glanced up and noticed that there were two suns. I was speechless.
"You'd never see anything like that on Earth. It really is quite lovely. I can't wait to see the sunrise,"
"Does the sun never rise here?"
"Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies,"
"What?"
"I will lie if I have to, but I don't want to. I don't want you to believe lies when you are desperately seeking the truth. You never know who's listening here,"
I looked to my right and about 50 yards off was the Slender Man just standing and watching. I gasped, not out of fear, but more out of surprise. He was just standing in a neighbor's backyard with that curious look on his non-face.
"Not him. Once we're here he doesn't care anymore. He doesn't care about me, and he can't see you. He wants to know why. He doesn't want you, he just wants an answer. It's the Others I'm worried about,"
"Who are the others?"
"Ask me no questions. . ."
"Fine. Can you tell me your name?"
"I don't have one yet,"
"What?"
"Until the sun rises I won't have a name,"
"Should I keep calling you spazz?"
"I wouldn't prefer it,"
"Then what should I call you?"
"Whatever you'd like,"
I thought for a moment, and before I could really choose one of the names I had listed in my head I blurted out "Micah. I'll call you Micah,"
"I won't argue. That is a fairly nice name. I don't think it was what I was called before, but I don't mind,"
"What do you mean before?"
"Not now. Wake up,"
And I woke up. I'm a little bit pissed at spazz, now Micah, because I'm sure he's the one that forced me out, and I don't know why. I also don't know how to get back to him again. Amazingly frustrating, finally getting to him and getting denied the answers that I want. I suppose I need to find a way to ask him questions in some roundabout way that will throw whomever "the Others" are off. If anyone who reads this has an idea please tell me. At least I learned a little, and have a real name for my friend.
P.s: Whoever keeps e-mailing me, if you've got something to say sat it in plain English. If it's important enough to send me two e-mails a day you might want to tell me straight up. I don't do cryptography.
"I know, I couldn't find my way back."
"Understandable. Sometimes the door is hard to find in the dark. Walk with me."
He began walking towards the woods behind my parents' house. I noticed that he was shaking hard and having trouble walking straight. I walked up behind him and grasped his hand to make him stop shaking. He smiled at me and began to speak.
"[Anomie] what do you think of the sky?"
It was twilight, as always, so I told him it was beautiful.
"But you didn't even look at it,"
"I know what the sky looks like,"
"Just look,"
I glanced up and noticed that there were two suns. I was speechless.
"You'd never see anything like that on Earth. It really is quite lovely. I can't wait to see the sunrise,"
"Does the sun never rise here?"
"Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies,"
"What?"
"I will lie if I have to, but I don't want to. I don't want you to believe lies when you are desperately seeking the truth. You never know who's listening here,"
I looked to my right and about 50 yards off was the Slender Man just standing and watching. I gasped, not out of fear, but more out of surprise. He was just standing in a neighbor's backyard with that curious look on his non-face.
"Not him. Once we're here he doesn't care anymore. He doesn't care about me, and he can't see you. He wants to know why. He doesn't want you, he just wants an answer. It's the Others I'm worried about,"
"Who are the others?"
"Ask me no questions. . ."
"Fine. Can you tell me your name?"
"I don't have one yet,"
"What?"
"Until the sun rises I won't have a name,"
"Should I keep calling you spazz?"
"I wouldn't prefer it,"
"Then what should I call you?"
"Whatever you'd like,"
I thought for a moment, and before I could really choose one of the names I had listed in my head I blurted out "Micah. I'll call you Micah,"
"I won't argue. That is a fairly nice name. I don't think it was what I was called before, but I don't mind,"
"What do you mean before?"
"Not now. Wake up,"
And I woke up. I'm a little bit pissed at spazz, now Micah, because I'm sure he's the one that forced me out, and I don't know why. I also don't know how to get back to him again. Amazingly frustrating, finally getting to him and getting denied the answers that I want. I suppose I need to find a way to ask him questions in some roundabout way that will throw whomever "the Others" are off. If anyone who reads this has an idea please tell me. At least I learned a little, and have a real name for my friend.
P.s: Whoever keeps e-mailing me, if you've got something to say sat it in plain English. If it's important enough to send me two e-mails a day you might want to tell me straight up. I don't do cryptography.
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